Interview with Saint Patrick's ex-girlfriend. "The only thing he did to get the snakes out of Ireland was to get on a boat for England."

Giant robin looks down at a man and says, "You miserable worm."

Mother whose son is being kept after school, writes to Bush to say, "Please do not commute his sentence."

Two men in cowboy attire: "I can smell by your outfit that you are a cowboy."

Two women talking: "It's like a Mecca for Moslems."

Boy talking to a teacher: "The gold fish ate my homework"

Dog on TV seated at desk with weather map behind him: "There is a rain warning until 6 p.m. this evening. Dogs should drink plenty of fluids and be prepared to re-mark trees."

Bush and Putin looking into each other's eyes. Bush thought balloon: "I see purity in his soul." Putin thought balloon: "If they would have elected this dimwit 20 years earlier, we would have won the Cold War."

Man and woman at work: "I've seen it on a PowerPoint, it must be true."

Two men building Stonehenge: "When we finish this, it will completely block my view of their stupid ugly hut."

Traditional Chinese family sits down to dinner in traditional Chinese home. Child says: "Chinese food again?"

Albanian man: "It's a good watch from Bush, but the battery ran out in 1995."

Real estate agent showing property, explaining that it is zoned BMR-10 -- Bad Mexican Restaurants with at least 10 tables.

Man in office pitching show to network exec: "World Idle is a reality show where politicans from around the world compete to create the worst possible solution to the simplest problem."

Old man pointing, young man reclining: "I thought you said go REST young man, go REST."

'Deadwood' on TV Screen with Rating NP-172 -- No Parrots Within 172 Feet

Newscaster: "In the latest poll, 78 percent said Bush is doing a miserable job as president. The other 22 percent were too stubborn to admit it."

Dog and Man near Burger King: "To a dog, Burger King is a 5-star restaurant."

Two men playing golf. One says, "In in 5, I mean 4" The other says, "It's against the rules of golf to improve your lie."

Two women talking. One says, "Everybody just thinks I am a big whore." The other says, "Why the confusion about your size."