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Issues Heather Phishes While Bush Plays Hooky Millions of Americans have been receiving calls from “Heather at Account Services” in a blatant phishing scam that has been going on at least since August. The robocalls, apparently using sequential dialing without filtering for the Do Not Call list, offer recipients a chance to get lower interest on their credit cards. Though the pitch is very smooth – Heather doesn’t sound Nigerian -- most people quickly realize that it is an attempt to get credit card numbers for criminal purposes. But apparently there is a good success rate – the operation has been running strong at least since August 2007. A Google search for “Heather at Account Services” turns up a wide variety of comments from people across the country, many complaining of receiving multiple calls in a single day. Phishing Paradox: Corn 8 Cents Lb., Heroin at $60,000 A Pound It’s ironic that corn sells for eight cents a pound and heroin fetches $60,000 for the same quantity, considering that the U.S. government spends billions of dollars to help farmers and to fight the drug trade. It’s too simplistic to say we could save the farmers by putting them under the Drug Enforcement Administration and wipe out the drug dealers by asking the U.S. Department of Agriculture to try to support them. But there is a nugget of truth in the paradox. Drugs Stop Letting Wal-Mart Pocket Sales Taxes Wal-Mart, or another big box retailer, approaches a small town and says, “We’d like to build a store here, bring in a lot of jobs, and make your community a real retail center.” The Town Council says great. Wal-Mart says, “Great. We just need approval to pocket all the sales taxes we collect, so we can pay for the new store. Oh, and we don’t want to pay any property taxes either.” Sales Tax Bloomberg Could Force Senate To Pick President -- Yes, The Senate Mike Bloomberg’s expected candidacy would change the calculus of the presidential race and could even lead to a bizarre scenario where the Senate picks the president for the first time in history. Bloomberg Iraq Requires Strategy For Each Of 7 Conflicts If the U.S. is going to stay in Iraq, it needs a strategy for successfully fighting all the different wars we are involved in there. The secretary of defense has identified four wars: Iraq Free Coverage Is Enemy Of Universal Health Care One of the roadblocks to universal health care in the U.S. is the misguided notion that universal coverage means free coverage. Health America Can Solve Illegal Alien Problem With Congress giving up, people dying in the desert and an estimated 12 million illegals already in the country, it’s fair to say that our current immigration policy is not working. An effective policy could be easily implemented, and fair to American workers, U.S. business and the aliens themselves. Aliens Native Americans Need Real Police Protection The criminal justice system on Indian reservations is so fundamentally broken that it requires a restructuring of police forces, jurisdiction, prosecutors, courts and jails. Systems designed in the 1800s to protect whites against marauding Indians are totally failing to protect reservation residents from violent crime. Law |
Featured Issue Peace In Middle East Requires Resolution of Right of Return The thorniest road block to peace between Israel and the Palestinians can be resolved by hard work on the question of Right of Return. The Plan |
Word Derivations Match apparently comes to us from the Greek word myxa, mucus from the nostril. From there, it became the Roman word for the nozzle of a lamp, and then the wick. Early guns had slow-burning cords similar to wicks, and eventually the word was applied to splinters of resinous wood. (From 2107 Curious Word Origins, Sayings & Expressions by Charles Earle Funk, Galahad Books, New York, 1948-1986.) Infantry ultimately comes from Latin in (not) and fans (speaking), referring to a child not yet capable of speech. Italians first used the word for youngster, and then used it for the youths who followed mounted knights on foot. (From The Story Behind the Word, Morton S. Freeman, ISI Press, Philadelphia, 1985.) Gringo The Spanish word for foreigner or gibberish likely comes from griego -- Greek, similar to the English expression, "It is all Greek to me." (From The Word Detective, Evan Morris, Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2000) Palace ultimately comes from the Palatine Hill, the place where Roman Emperors built their grand homes. (From The Oxford Dictionary of Word Histories, Edite by Glynnis Chantrell, Oxford University Press, 2002) |
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Cartoon Ideas
Elephants in business suits in a bus driven by Huckabee, headed for a cliff. One says, "Who told the Bible thumpers they could drive." Another says, "How would Jesus bump this guy off." You know you are over the hill when the cab driver turns off Rock'n'Roll and turns on Rush Limbaugh trying to get a better tip. Politician on the stump. "If the three-toed sloths would have had a strict immigration policy, they would be better off today." Business people around conference table. One says: "What are our core competencies." Another says: "You mean other than hoilding meeting to talk about core competencies." Marketing pitch. Man offers, "Sox that mate for life." Sign along highway saying "No annoying signs next 1.2 Miles." Dogs, dressed as in 'Dogs Playing Poker', sitting in a sports bar watching the Iditarod sled dog race on TV. Caption: "Dogs Watching Sports." Store shelf with Christmas decorations divided into four areas each with a sign. They say: "Tasteful," "Tacky," "Staten Island" and "Jersey." A reporter of normal stature, several African tribesmen about 4-feet tall, and the Republican presidential candidates. Rudy and McCain are about waist-high to the Africans and the others are smaller, with Tancredo about 3 inches tall. The reporter says: "The Republican presidential candidates met with African tribesmen today to discuss the harm caused by Newt Gingrich characterization of them as pygmies." Tancredo has a cartoon balloon saying "Bomb Mecca." A man in suit in front of a news room. "The purchase of the Wall Street Journal by Rupert Murdock will have no effect on editorial integrity." About a third of the reporters and editors are kangaroos and kangaroos are carrying off more humans. Newscaster: "In the latest poll, 78 percent said Bush is doing a miserable job as president. The other 22 percent were too stubborn to admit it." Two men playing golf. One says, "In in 5, I mean 4" The other says, "It's against the rules of golf to improve your lie." |
Blog Wouldn't it be expensive? --Madeup Reader The conflict is no great bargain. If you figure Palestinian unrest adds as little as $5 to the price of a barrel of oil, then the cost to U.S. consumers is $100 million a day. Comment |
Comedy Articles Bush vs. The Worst Roman Emperors George W. Bush is acknowledged as the worst American president ever, overwhelming both Buchanan and Fillmore in a blizzard of incompetence and evil-doing. Now, it is time to measure Bush against bad Roman emperors. This is the award for Worst Leader of a Single World Superpower. Romans Huck Takes To Raft To Promote Name, Save Air Fare Mike Huckabee put his raft into the Mississippi off Davenport, Iowa, yesterday, in a brilliant effort to associate his unusual name with the Huck of the Great American Novel. Huckabee Romney Wins Pygmy Olympics The results of the Pygmy Olympics are in the history books and Mitt Romney has solidified his standing as a Pygmy among Pygmies. Pygmy Dick Cheney, Super Hero When the whole truth can finally be told – and it will be 50 years before all the top secret documents can be declassified – Dick Cheney will be written up in the history books as not only America’s greatest vice president, but in fact as the greatest American ever. Every day, he battles aliens, solves global warming and deals with the Iraqi scientists on the verge of re-creating the Big Bang. Cheney The Two Monicas Now that the Sopranos are off the air, the next big hit could be a sitcom with a Washington, D.C., apartment shared by the two Monicas, and Attorney General Gonzales on an inner tube in the backyard pool. Monicas Homer Jethro in '08 As Rudy, McCain, Mitt and Thompson fade, the Republicans will have to dig deep to find a candidate untainted by scandal, a track record or knowledge. Homer T. Jethro is such a man. Homer |